Supernatural Heroes
by FrozenGlitter
Summary: What if Sam and Dean met the characters from Heroes? This is a parody of both shows. Not very sympathetic to the Heroes characters. It also makes fun of Sam and Dean, but in a good natured way. This is going to be many chapters, lots of crack. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

This is going to be an ongoing project. A parody of both Supernatural and Heroes. More in favor of the Supernatural characters, though, which is why I published it here. DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters from either show.

* * *

_Los Angeles- _Hiro and Ando walked up to the house. "Hiro, are you sure this is a good idea?" Ando asked, in Japanese. "Last time we babysat for Baby Matt Parkman, you remember what happened."

"It will be just fine, relax," Hiro said, adjusting his glasses. "Maybe he'll help me get some more of my powers back." He stepped forward and rang the doorbell. A terrified teen girl answered it.

"Glad you guys are here!" she said. "This baby is INSANE! Gotta run!" and with that, she ran out the door past them.

Hiro and Ando entered the house. The baby sat on the floor in the entryway, surrounded by an army of dancing toys.

"Oh, hello Baby Matt Parkman!" Hiro cooed in his heavily accented English. He scooped the baby up. "What are you going to do for me today?" Ando stepped over to make a funny face at the baby.

The baby screeched happily and touched Hiro's face with his right hand. With his left, he touched Ando's. This caused Ando to spark red. The sparks touched Hiro's face. There was a crackle, and a pop, and suddenly the three of them weren't there anymore.

A few seconds later, Hiro opened his eyes. He was still holding the baby and standing next to Ando, but instead of being in the Parkman house, they were now on a street in an unfamiliar place, a row of run down houses behind them. And they were not alone.

"What is going on here?!" Noah Bennet yelled, crossing the street to come towrds them. "Hiro, did you do this?"

As he spoke, all the other people with abilities that Hiro and Ando knew started POOF! appearing. Peter. Nathan. Claire. Matt. Mohinder. And they all looked pretty angry.

"Oops!" Hiro said.

_**BOOM! Crash! Thunder! Lightning! SUPERNATURAL! Aaaaaggggghhhh! HEROES! Aaahhhh-aaaahhhh-ahhhhhhh! Eclipse! **_

_Supernatural _**Heroes **(in quotes, on the side of a building. This episode of Supernatural Heroes is brought to you by Sam's Club. Sam Walton believed in selling things at dirt cheap prices. Then he died. Sam Winchester believed in killing things that were already dead. Then he died. Then he came back. Please enjoy the show.)

_One week later: This is the epic story of good vs. evil, man vs. man, a story that teaches us the true meaning of Life, in all its splendorous glory. _

_Ok, so we lied. _

_Our story begins on the road somewhere in Canada America. This is the story of two twenty something male models ghost/demon/monster hunters who travel the countryside in their old beat up hoopdy, banging girls fighting evil, and staying in tasteful, well decorated 5 star hotels. _

_Our heroes of the moment are Sam, the younger brother: tall and skinny, whiny and idealistic, with emo hair and perpetually sappy eyes; and Dean: a horny wise ass, known for grumbling prettily in layered shirts, like a cynical Grunge Ken doll. Together, they fight for truth, justice, and the American way! _

"That's a bunch of crap," Dean said, rocking out and drinking a beer, while driving.

"What is?" Sam asked, his seat pushed back as far as it can possibly go. Even so, the knees of his long legs are right about even with his ears.

"Dude, didn't you hear the voice? It was a man talking. He had an accent...Indian, it sounded like." Dean said.

"Uh...Dean, maybe you shouldn't drink and drive." Sam pulls the beer out of of Dean's hand.

"Hey, I was drinking that!" Dean yells. "Anyway, I was NOT imagining it."

Sam scratched his head. "What? Oh hey. So, there's this town we're supposed to check out. They say that lately a lot of strange people have suddenly appeared there. And all of them seem to have _abilities. _Like, flying, healing, all sorts of things. I'm thinking maybe we could find out what's going on."

"Nah, that's a waste of time," Dean said. "Why can't we just go to Vegas and get laid?"

"You always want to go to Vegas and get laid," Sam said.

_And so our intrepid heroes argued about it for a little. Such is the way of things in our world. __Our beautifu, glorious world where things happen for reasons that noone quite understands! Can it be a force of nature, like evolution, that causes our genes to mutate in such a form that only small lagamorphs and happy children can understand-_

"SHUT UP!!!!" Sam and Dean yelled at the same time.

"So you did hear it now," Dean said to Sam.

"Yes, yes I did," Sam said, confused and concerned. "Dean, what the hell was that?"

"I don't know," Dean said, "but it's annoying and it insulted my car a few minutes ago and-"

"Dean! Look out!" Sam shouted, too late. Dean slammed on the brakes but the car hit a figure in the road and knocked it down.

For a few seconds, nobody moved. Then slowly, gingerly, Dean sat up. "Sam? Sammy, are you ok?" Sam opened his eyes and shook his head in a startled way. "Yeah, I'm fine, Dean," he said. "Are you?"

"I'm fine," Dean said, "but what did we hit?"

The brothers jumped out of the car and ran to the front of it. A blonde haired girl in her late teens lay on the road in front of it, covered it blood.

"Oh shit!" Dean said. "Sammy, quick, call 911!"

Before Sam could get his phone out, to the amazement of the brothers, the girl sat up. She rotated her shoulders and popped them a few times, and if Sam and Dean could believe what they were seeing, an open wound on her chest closed up perfectly.

Sam put his hand out to stop the girl from coming towards them, while Dean pulled a knife out of his belt.


	2. Chapter 2

This is is the second chapter in my Supernatural - Heroes crossover parody. I hope you enjoy! Again, I own nothing.

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"Wait, wait!" the girl screamed. She brushed some blood off her arms. She looked Sam and Dean up and down, as if assessing a challenge, and then said, "Did my dad send you? He thinks he can keep me from sneaking out, but boy is he wrong!"

"Uh, no, we don't know your dad..." Sam said. "At least I don't think we do. You must be one of those people with special abilities that have suddenly popped up in this town."

"What's it to you?" the girl snapped, trying to look fierce, and failing miserably. "Are you some of those government people that my dad...my other dad...was in with before, trying to round us up? Well if you are, I'm going to stop you. So there." She pouted, and Sam was sure she even stomped her foot a little.

"Uh, Sam?" Dean pulled Sam away so they could quietly discuss. "So, what do you think is causing all this? She's got to be some kind of demon, right? I'm thinking if there's others like her, we find them all and stop this."

"I don't know, Dean," Sam said. Maybe we could try and talk to these people first. You know, not just kill them."

The brothers snuck a glance over at the girl. She made a nasty face at them and said, "Go to hell!"

"Been there, done that," Dean said. "Sam, this girl's a bitch. I say we just move on, see what is wrong with this town, and _then_ go to Vegas to get laid." He heads over to the car, starts it up, turns on some music. Seventies rock blares out of the car.

"Oh nooooo!" the girl wailed, covering her ears. "That music is all OOLLLDD and stuff! It's awful!"

"That's it," Dean said, climbing back out of the car.

"Use the knife!" Sam said.

Dean lifted the knife above his head, and then looked at it and stopped. "Whoops, sorry," he said. "That's my body butter spreading knife. I meant to pull out _this_ knife." And he pulled Ruby's knife out and stabbed the girl with it.

"OUUUCCCHH OOOWWWIIEE!" she screamed, but did not spark and die like a demon should.

"Dude, I could have told you she's not a demon," Sam said.

"Then why'd you tell me to use the knife?!" Dean asked, exasperated. He was frustrated at having to raise his voice over the girls' screams. And all that blood. It was getting on the hood of the car, dammit!

"I didn't tell you to use _that_ knife," Sam said, pushing the girl, still screaming with a knife in her chest, out of the way. "I meant to use _this _knife." He pulled a machete out of his pocket.

"Dude, how big are your pockets?" Dean asked. "And why? Or do I not want to know?"

"Probably you don't want to know," Sam said. "Anyway, the only way to stop something like whatever this girl is, is to chop the head off." Ignoring the girl's screams, Sam macheted her neck, and her head went flying. Her body collapsed with a meaty thud. A few moments later, screaming could be heard from the clump of trees at the side of the road.

"What was that?" Dean asked, and he and Sam ran over to investigate.

The girl's head was still alive, laying in the grass, and it seemed very angry.

"You chopped off my head! You guys are so...so mean! I'd kick your asses if I still had legs! I'm gonna get my dad to shoot you! And my uncle Peter to destroy you! You have no idea how powerful he is! You don't know who you're messing with, misters!"

"Will you take us to these other people?" Dean asked.

"You bet I will!" she said. "And you two are so dead!"

"We know," Sam agreed. They picked up her head and tossed it in the trunk of the car.

"Wait, you can't do this to me! I am CLAIRE!!!!" she screamed as Dean slammed the trunk.

_This portion of tonight's program is brought to you by Dean's Guacamole. Just don't get any on __the seat of his car, or he'll kick your ass. _

_Sometimes, the highway of life is smooth and harmonious. Other times, it is rough and bumpy, and paved with ghouls and zombies. It is at these times that our curious genetic code comes into play. _

"Is there any way to make that sonofabitch shut up?" Dean asked. They were entering the town where supposedly, all these people with powers had shown up.

"That's Mohinder!" Clarire screamed from the trunk, but Sam and Dean didn't hear her because, well, she was in the trunk. It didn't matter, she knew there was no way to get Mohinder to shut up. They'd all tried, at some point, but it seemed that along with his strange super strength bug powers that he had developed after injecting that serum into himself, he was now omnipitent.

"Here we go, the center of town," Sam said, and Dean parked.

"Let's see how long it takes before the weirdos start showing up," Dean said. But Sam apparently had other ideas.

"Dean, I think we should go undercover. Not as suits, like usual...I've brought along a bag of disguises for you."

"For me?" Dean asked. "Come on, man, what about _you_?"

"Look, I did some research before we came here," Sam began, "and it seems these people used to have this company. And they'd team up: one person with an ability, one person without. So we're going to pretend you have a power, and I don't."

"Sammy, that doesn't make sense," Dean said, "Since you actually do have powers."

"I know, I know, but this way we really take them by surprise!" Sam said. "Look, just pick a disguise."

Dean rifled through the bag. He shook his head in confusion. "What did you do, raid a costume shop? Let's see, I can either be a troubled college student, a friend of Superman, a genetically engineered super soldier, or a punk in a kilt?!"

Sam shrugged. "It's all they had."

"Sam, I am not wearing a kilt!" Dean yelled. "Or any of these stupid costumes. Come on! Why-" He couldn't say any more, because a chubby Japanese man materialized out of nowhere and slammed into him. Moments later, a skinny Japanese guy appeared as well.

"Whoops! So sorry!" the chubby man said. He looked up at the brothers, and his face brightened. "Sam and Dean! I was waiting for you two to show up!"


End file.
